The bug hits… with green goo!

I caught something at the office on Monday. When I strolled in, I started sneezing. I swear the office breeds germs. The air-con especially. And now, a day and more later, I’m coughing out green gunk and my nose excretes the same coloured crap. Not good, I tell ya. I don’t usually get sick very often, and it’s been twice this year already.

My throat’s inflamed from the coughing. I’m glad I don’t have a major fever or anything like it coz fevers are a pain-in-the-ass. Your whole body just feels like it’s breaking down. Well, great, now I’m on two days sick leave. Enough to give me some precious rest and relaxation.

Damn, the flu medication is getting to me… zzzzzzzz….

A True Pain-In-The-Ass

Barely recovering from a hard knock from a tussle with a hard-tackling Korean last week, I sustained another injury from last night’s game. My weekly futsal games have always been fun, but to a certain extent, can also be very competitive (no surprise here, we’re talking about men egos here and the neanderthal competitive spirit and killer instinct!). So injury is mostly part and parcel of the game. Or perhaps I’m just injury prone. My boss once said, “I think football may not be the game for you.” This was after several MCs (medical certs) due to futsal-related injuries.

Blame it on insufficient warm-up, perhaps. Although I spent a good half playing keeper, one of my spent teammates decided to trade places with me. I was all for it, of course, goalkeeping not my first love and truly not my natural position. We must have won 5 games in a row with some very tight teamwork. Nice.

Unleashed a few cracks at goal only, parried by the able hands of the keeper and the post. However, in one of the attempts at goal, I pulled my muscle. The gluteus maximus to be exact. Maximus pain-in-the-ass-nus. Ouch. Now, that’s one set of muscles I’ve never ever pulled. I continued playing, but could not kick hard.

Attempted to stretch those gluteal muscles after that, but I think the damage has been done. It isn’t as serious as my ankle injuries sustained previously and it should heal with a little bit of rest, but for now, it’s a pain in the ass to carry around. I was just wondering,  if I were to go for treatment or physio, it should be quite amusing. Hahah.

“Er, doc, could you like massage my ass?”

Story of a Gay Flight Attendant

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that “Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.”

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn’t moved a muscle. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.”

She calmly turned her head and said, “In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.”  To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, “Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you.  Tray-up, Bitch.”

My piggy is bigger than your piggy!

This little piggy went to… *broke*

how&why Closing Down Sale – OMG, I’m gonna be broke!

If you’re a book/magazine-lover (of art and design books, in any case) like me, you HAVE to be there. They are even selling their IKEA chairs, racks, etc. Make them an offer on anything (and no, the female sales attendants are NOT up for grabs, you perverts). Discount on books up to 70%. CRAZY!

Hate Me – Blue October

This is from their 3rd album – Foiled. Kick ass! My favourite song at the moment. I just purchased the song off iTunes Store – a 6min 20s version marked ‘Explicit’. Enjoy the lyrics:

Blue October
Hate Me

Children: If you’re sleeping, are you dreaming, if you’re dreaming are you dreaming of me? I can’t believe YOU ACTUALLY MISS ME….

Mother: Hi Justin! This is your mother it is 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you were doing. You sounded really uptight last night, it made me a little nervous, and a little, well it made me nervous, but it sounded like you were nervous too. I just want to make sure you are really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication too. You know I love ya. Take care honey, I know you’re under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye Bye!

(Verse 1)
I have to block out thoughts of you, so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you, Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face
And will you never try to reach me, it is I that wanted space

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah in ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

(Verse 2)
I’m sober now for 3 whole months, it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing that I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I’ll never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you

(Verse 3)
And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I have made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling make it go away,
Just make her smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

(Chorus)
Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see whats good for you
For You
For You
For You

Children: If you’re sleeping, are you dreaming, if you’re dreaming are you dreaming of me. I can’t believe YOU ACTUALLY MISS ME….

Girl: Hey Justin! x12+

Like the song? Buy it from the iTunes Store – only USD0.99! 

Lyrics sourced from Lyrics.com

Want to run Photoshop 35% faster? Use Mac OS X 10.4.8

The publishing industry is still impatiently waiting for Intel-optimised Adobe applications. Eleven months since the first Intel-based Mac shipped, early adopters of Intel-based Macs have been running Adobe applications (especially Photoshop) at less than half its native speed as compared to PowerPC-powered machines. Apple’s Rosetta compatibility layer for running PowerPC compiled apps, does a great job of making all things compatible with the Intel chips, but with a penalty. A big penalty.

Adobe apps are the worst hit, especially the processor intensive Photoshop. In early tests by Macworld, an iMac Core Duo ran selected Photoshop tasks 45% slower than an iMac G5. This speed penalty IS substantial. And more than enough to put off purchases, especially from the publishing industry, eager to jump on the Intel bandwagon.

Adobe is committed to bringing the latest edition of its Creative Suite, and a Universal version at that, to Intel-swarmed shores and we should see Adobe CS 3 appearing some time next year. Apple should also see a big increase in hardware sales once Adobe CS 3 is released. Adobe recently release Acrobat 8, which is a Universal release and runs scorchingly fast on new Macs.

For those who have already upgraded (or downgraded, depending on perspective!) to an Intel Mac, don’t fret. Thanks to the hardworking programmers in the Apple camp, Rosetta now runs 35% faster than previously. The catch? Download and install Mac OS X 10.4.8. Macworld was surprised to find Photoshop performing much better in recent tests with the OS update.

Before the OS X 10.4.8 update, a 2GHz iMac G5 beat the 2.66GHz Quad-Core Mac Pro at both the Photoshop and Word Scroll tests. After the update, the Photoshop numbers looked much more respectable, with the Mac Pro outpacing the iMac G5 by 28 percent in the Photoshop test. What’s more, the 2.16GHz iMac Core 2 Duo closing the speed gap enjoyed by its G5 counterpart from 35 percent to a dead even finish. Still, even after the OS X 10.4.8 update, the G5s wiped the floor with the Intel-based Macs on the Word test.

So what are you waiting for? Go download Mac OS X 10.4.8!

Apple Intel Updates

Apple has released a slew of EFI firmware updates for its products line. Do you have an Intel-based Mac? Download the updates via Software Update or download standalone installers from the links below:

• iMac v1.1
• MacBook Pro v1.2
• MacBook v1.0
• Mac mini v1.1
• Mac Pro v1.1

This EFI update fixes several Boot Camp, startup and wake-from-sleep issues on Intel Macs.

Tua Pooi Soh Peauty Saloon

This is too bloody good to pass up. Enjoy!

 The phone rings.

Ah Lian quickly picks it up.

Ah Lian : Morning. Tua Pooi Soh Peauty Saloon here. You are now talking to Ah Lian.
Customer : Good morning Ah Lian. I want to fix appointment to clean my face. Is your Tua Pooi Soh in??
Ah Lian : Tau Keh Soh is going out 1 hour ago. Who on the line?
Customer : I am Auntie Mary. Your Tua Pooi Soh’s customer.
Ah Lian : Oh Auntie Mely. I can help you to fix appointment. Tomolo Tau Keh Soh appointment full house. Tomolo’s tomolo she got free. When you like to come?
Customer : I think some time next week. Can I confirm the date & time with you later?
Ah Lian : Sure sure. You can call me or fact your late & timing. Our fact lumber: jeelo two – two egg one sick for two fai sick. If you want, can rock on to our wet side to see our later awertaismen & plomosen. Our wet side : tapiu tapiu tapiu lot tpspeautysaloon lot kom lot mai. Anymore thing you want to talk? If no more I hang the phone.
Caller : Ah……no. You’ve been most helpful. Thanks.
Ah Lian : OK, when you free please come & sit. Pai.